This valentines day, show love to your husband or boyfriend in the way he’ll appreciate most. According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in his bestselling book “Love and Respect,” women desire to be loved, while men (also desire to be loved obviously) but they desire respect more so.
So, lets discuss some encouraging respect for your husband by showing them we respect them.
What is His Love Language?
First, it’s important to know what his love language is. According to Gary Chapman, bestselling author of “The 5 Love Languages” there are five love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and receiving gifts.
Does your husband seem to enjoy gifts? Give your gift with an encouraging love note (we’ll get to said words later). Or does he get excited when you spend time with him? Speak some encouraging words to him when you’re alone with him.
Knowing your husband’s love language is a special touch to add when encouraging respect for your husband. But, as I mentioned above, its important to know what encouraging words for your husband, which leads to the next point.
What do You Tell Him?
Decide what you will say. Don’t write a cookie-cutter, fortune cookie message. Be specific about what you admire or respect about him. According to Dr. Eggerichs, men desire to be admired and respected.
Think up some reasons why you admire him. If you’re having some trouble thinking of things, go back to when you were engaged: what did you admire about him? What drew you to him?
This is why I respect you….
I respect you because…
I’m so glad you chose me to be your wife
I’m proud to be your wife because…
I believe in you.
You’re the strongest (and/or sexiest) man I know
You’re such a great protector
You’re such a hard worker because…
I appreciate how hard you work every day for our family
You’re the most hardworking man I know because…
Say these things or make little notes for him to find (lunchbox, work desk, etc). But why are these notes based on respect or admiration? Well, most men desire respect more than love. Not to say they don’t want love, but most men want respect more.
After surveying hundreds of men, Shaunti Feldhahn author of “For Women Only” found that 74% of men said they would rather feel unloved than disrespected. Respect is a big deal for men. If you want to show your man how much you adore him, show him some respect.
Men endure a lot-as the leaders of the home they carry a heavy burden. It’s important to uplift and encourage the men we love in our lives. Not just our husbands, but also our brothers, and fathers or father-figures. On a side note, another way to show respect for your husband is to show submission to him. You can read more about submission in my article “what does submission mean in marriage” here.
I love gassing up my husband. No one should be better at gassing up my man than me. Surely there will be others who will encourage him-whether at work or elsewhere. So, make sure it’s you, his leading lady, who is giving him the utmost encouragement and respect he craves!
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