When you meet that special someone, most of us are already imagining our wedding day with them and ensuing future together. But, if you just met the person recently, you (and your friends and family) will want to know when is a good time to get engaged? And, how soon is too soon?
Well, there are many things to consider before the engagement.
Is This Just Lust?
According to certified matchmaker Shilpa Gandhi, its important to consider that marrying within a few weeks or days of meeting someone may be a product of attraction and list for each other and not loving commitment.
So, before you elope after a few days of meeting someone make sure you take the time to get to know them because it may be lust. Be a little investigator: asking friends and family about them. See more in my post on questions to ask before marriage here.
Important things to consider:
-family in the future
-similar values/religious views?
-finances/work (including debt and bills)
-living situation (now and after marriage?)
I Have to be Sure, Though!
Shilpa Gandhi says 3-6 months is a good time between meeting and engagement. However, there are some experts that believe it’s best to wait a few years before engagement. I disagree. You don’t have to spend years living life with someone you already know you want to spend the rest of your life with instead of marrying them.
Thinking you must wait to see how they react to death, or see how they respond to jealousy, or this or that. You can get that information from their family or friends.
But no matter how many questions you ask, you won’t get those answers until years of experience with them. So, if you and your partner agree on values, life goals, expectations, finances and there are no red flags, why not just get married?
There are so many things you learn about someone after marriage and living life with them. Plus, wouldn’t you rather go through the trials of life married with a life partner to be there with you?
Yes, I understand there are instances where its better to wait (i.e., finances, school, etc.). But please consider this: life is going to happen anyway. You will never truly have everything perfect.
If you’re a Christian, consider that if you’ve given your life to the Lord, He may have you experience a short or a long engagement. He told me my engagement would be short (met in January engaged in June). So be prayerful and fast about a timeline. And allow Him to confirm (relationship and engagement) so you don’t get your hopes up and jump the gun.