Tag Archives: couples

Bible Verses About Relationships-Finding the One 

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

The Bible provides us with a plethora of knowledge we can use for our daily lives Including our relationships. In this post, I’ll provide you with multiple bible verses to study for every aspect of your relationship from finding the guy/girl to engagement! So, let’s get into bible verses about relationships and finding the one to know and study! 

Finding The One!

The following bible verses about relationships are about the pursuit and dating. Dating should be intentional with the goal of marriage. Use the dating period to learn more about the person: their goals, relationship with God, thoughts on marriage and family, and more! Check out my post on ultimate list of questions to ask before marriage here.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” Proverbs 18: 22 

You’re going to notice a pattern here: Notice the verse says He who finds a wife. Not she who finds a husband. Men are designed for pursuit so let him pursue you. The woman is meant to be the good thing for her husband. Consider for yourself, are you that good thing? 

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Genesis 2: 22 

Ladies, you don’t have to chase after any guy. The Lord will prepare you for the right guy then bring you to him.  

“Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master…Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.” Genesis 24: 12-23 

This relates to my post how I knew my husband was the one. The Lord can absolutely lead you to who your spouse is. Pray like Abraham’s servant-pray specifically. Then walk by faith that the Lord will answer you. But when the Lord brings your spouse, wait and see if this truly is from the Lord.  

Trusting God When Finding the One

It’s so important to trust God when dating because God knows everything about us. He knows what we will do and who we will eventually marry. He has a perfect will for us. Check out these bible verses for trusting God when single and dating.

”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29: 11 

Relating to the above verse, God knows everything about us, including our future. Of purse He will know who we marry. So trust Him with that decision.  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”  Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ 

“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 8:4  

Wait for the right time. Do you think you need to stay single for a little bit to grow closer to God, or get to a better place financially? Timing is everything, especially with marriage.  

“Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? 

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6: 25, 33 

Pursue God daily. Make sure you are doing His will everyday, and try to live your best life for Him. Grow in your struggle areas. When you stop worrying about finding the one, God will bring Him to you. This is so true for me! When I stopped worrying about finding the one, and focusing all my attention on growing closer to God, I met my husband!  

Are They the One?

When dating someone, use these bible verses to determine if they are the one based on their character. Are they a Christian? Are they kind and patient? Check out the verses below for help with these questions!

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 

This is very important. You wanna be on the same page with your partner in regard to life goals, children, and your faith. It is better to be with someone with the same faith as you. I know people who are with people who aren’t Christian and it can be a struggle for them. Of course God can save anyone, but allow Him to do that work. Missionary dating can be a struggle-so why do it?  

“You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” Matthew 7: 16-17 

Is this person a good person? Do they display the fruits of the spirit: love, kindness, meekness, patience? Ask their friends and family what type of person they are-how do they react when angry, when they don’t get their way, or when disappointed or dissatisfied? Every man reveals himself, eventually. 

Conclusion

Study these bible verses about relationships when you are struggling with trusting God while you’re single and looking for the one. God can lead you in everything. He wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. Trust Him, and obey Him. He won’t let you down 

Blessings,

M/M

Couple Fights-How to Argue as a Couple

Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

Couples are bound to argue. Being able to fight in marriage or any relationship is so crucial to a healthy marriage or relationship. Are you ready to learn how to have couple fights? Let’s get started.

Do We Both feel Understood?

Make sure you’re arguing without blaming or criticizing each other but arguing to understand what each other are feeling.

Example of what not to say in a couple fight:

“You’re always thinking about yourself! You never think about me.”

“You think I’m a bad person.”

“You hate me!”

Notice these statements are very criticizing and make assumptions. Do your best to avoid making assumptions about why your spouse did something-you won’t know for sure why someone does something until you ask them. 

Do not criticize your spouse. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, created a list of four things that lead to divorce, or the four horsemen of divorce. 

Criticism is one of the four horsemen of divorce. There’s a difference between offering a critique, and criticizing: critique comes from a partner who seeks to help their partner be better, while criticizing comes from a partner who seeks to put down their partner. 

Example of what to say in a couple fight:

“I felt this way because…”

“I thought this when you did this…”

These statements are questioning. This partner is trying to understand why their partner did something or said something. 

Be like a detective, try to solve the why of what happened or what was said. Turn all that anger and frustration into a drive to understand why your partner did what they did. Seeking to understand is also important because it ensures respect. Which is the next point.

Are We Respecting Each Other?

A big part of love is respect. When you respect someone you won’t make them feel stupid. Make sure you’re respecting each other even when you don’t agree with them! 

If you feel disrespected in an argument, you both have already lost because disrespect easily leads to contempt. And contempt is one of the four horseman of divorce. 

You and your partner are two different people with different backgrounds, experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. so it would make sense you both would disagree on things! 

But just because you’re different doesn’t mean you should disrespect each other. Work to respect each other’s opinions and feelings. Learn more about respecting your husband in my post here.

If you feel particularly heated, take a five minute break to blow off steam, separate and gather your thoughts together. But DONT stonewall: stonewalling is when you completely shut down in an argument.

Stonewalling is another horseman of divorce. This is an easy way out that should never be taken because nothing gets solved that way-you’re not communicating anymore. So no one wins. Winning is the final goal!

Do We Both Win?

You should (or try to) argue with a goal in mind. Notably, this can take a lot of self-control especially if you’re angry. It can be easy to get defensive, and be blind to your own feelings (we’ve all been there).

Defensiveness is one of the four horsemen of divorce. Defensiveness causes division between you and your spouse when you should be united. So, try to argue with a goal in mind. Don’t let the goal be to blow off at each other. 

Instead come up with a compromise. That way there won’t be one winner at the end of a couple fight-there should be two winners. 

Conclusion

I believe arguments can be productive. You can end an argument amicably. If you need to bring a person in who can be unbiased. Respect, seeking to understand, and ensuring you both win is so important to ensure you and your partner argue well. If you want to read more on communicating better with your partner, check out Dr. Gottman’s book below on the four horsemen of divorce. 

*Bonus tip: don’t go to bed angry!

Blessings,

M/M